Water and I

My parents named me Jahnavi... I have heard that my mom and dad coincidentally came up with the same name for me. Somehow it was assumed that a daughter will be born and not a son. My mom's family wanted the child to be named after a river. She did not want to name me Ganga or Teesta, so she named me Jahnavi- another name for Ganga. My dad on the other hand recites the Durga Shatanam from which he came up with this name somehow. Till this day, they fight with each other regarding who was first to decide my name. Of course they are sweet fights.

Ganga flowed through the heavens with a mighty force. It flowed fiercely down to earth when Bhagiratha the king ordered it. Once it flowed close to the Jahnu, the sage's meditation place. Scared of the mighty river's destructive power, he gulped down the waters to save the earth. After some pleading from Bhagiratha, he released it once again from a slit in his knee. Since then Ganga is known as Jahnavi meaning 'of Jahnu'. Along with the myth behind it, it also has a deep mystical quality. The name in itself is a mixture passion and mystery. The 'h' in Jahnavi gives it a strange weight.

As a young girl I realised that I had a connection with water. According to Astrology, coincidentally my element was water. I used to no doubt love the sea and the river-side. I also realised that whenever I was in the depths of despair or was unable to take a decision, I would by quirk of fate end up by the sea or river-side. This gave me a strange sense of connection with water.

My first strong experience was when my grandfather passed away. In spite of everyone telling me not to, I went to the crematorium and subsequently to the banks of the Ganga to throw the ashes. When I went there and I stood, looking at the river flowing continuously, I felt as if my increasing sorrow was flowing with those endless waters. I felt as if Ganga was sharing my emotional burden. Till today, I feel the sorrow of my Dada's death flow out of me in form of tears whenever I imagine myself standing before the flowing waters of the Ganga.

Next memorable experience was before your father and entered into a relationship. I left for Benarus to spend five difficult days. One of those days I was walking next to the Ganga and squinting in the blazing sun. I watched the priests perform the aarti as a praise to the river. I felt my heavy heart in my chest. I could not decide what to do. Straight after that I went to the temple where I heard a voice telling me that if I wanted peace, I could only find in your father's arms. I was overjoyed and came back excitedly to tell your father and we entered into the relationship.

Once again I was invited to Sunderbans. We were on a ship. On that ship I thought of my first production, on Draupadi. I even understood that the root of all problems between me and your father was because of my lack of acceptance.

My last and most recent experience was in Puri. I was frustrated and tense about my college admissions and about the fact that your father was very angry with me. So I went by
the sea and relieved my emotional burden. When I came back it was easier to bear.

Nandini...your father and I get along so well because his element is air...it dissolves in water.