She stood on the banks of River Jamuna, the sun beating down on her smooth head, wind blowing her tangled locks of hair. The dried flower petals from the garland around her neck, flew all around, making a small whirl of hopelessness. Her eyes were blinded with tears,her bare feet were sore and dirty, her sari was undone, she was lost to the world...she could only hear the waters of the Jamuna lashing against its banks.
How long had it been since she had danced into the lush green forest along with her sakhis? How many sunsets?
Krishna's words still rang in her ears. He told her thirsty soul to wait for him in the forest, He would come for her, He would erase all her pains.
Radha couldn't sleep, the night before. She tossed and turned and smiled to herself. She combed her long, curly black hair with her fingers, she checked her reflection in the mirror over and over again. Finally she lay on her back and dreamt of their meeting.
Radha was up before morning broke. There was so much to do. Even though she began with the house work as usual, she could not continue as the excitement was piercing her heart and making her unbelievably restless. She finally put down the pale of water and decided t give up.
She painted her eyes with care, she tied her hair in many different ways, but she was not satisfied. She sat in a heap of hairpins and ribbons, sulking. A friendly voice interrupted her mourning as a sakhi appeared at her doorstep. One look at Radha was enough for sakhi to judge the problem. She giggled and put her arms around Radha. She ushered her to wait a moment.
The sakhi returned with all her friends and they began to deck her beautifully with jewelery and flowers. Radha whispered shyly to her sakhis about her fantasies and blushed deep red. When she looked into the mirror, she gasped at her own beauty. She lowered her eyes shyly and beckoned to her friends to accompany her to the forest to witness her divine meeting with Krishna.
They danced and sang on their way. Radha's smile was radiant like the sun. She laughed to her hearts content, her laugh being merrier than the soft tinkle of her earring and anklets. She sat under a large shady tree near the Jamuna, in the clearing. The sakhis gathered around her. Some danced, some sang, some chased each other around the trees while some played in the clear blue waters.
Radha sat quietly making a garland for her beloved. Her dreamy eyes often caused her to prick her finger with the needle. She laughed at herself. She stopped midway and leaned against the bark of the tree and closed her eyes. She was so happy. She awoke with a start when a shower of flower petals fell on her and scream of delighted laughter sounded from a young mischievous sakhi. Radha laughed along...today nothing could go wrong.
Then restlessness grew as the sakhis began to leave. Radha thought to herself, how she will scold Krishna when he arrived. Her ears were strained to hear the sound of his flute but nothing sounded.
She suspected Krishna to be with another woman. Anger mounted as she pictured her beloved in another's arms. She got up and began to pace around. Hot tears came but soon went away as recalled Krishna's sweet voice, promising her a meeting.
Dusk fell, Radha watched the birds flying to their nests. The last sakhi too had left and everything was growing quiet. There were no squirrels, no deer, no birds to play with. Radha was all alone. Darkness enveloped her as she sunk into a drowsy stupor full of thoughts about her love. She was oblivious to the cold, oblivious to the dangers of the forest. Her smile had disappeared, her brow was creased and the flowers had begun to wilt. Yet she believed, Krishna would come.
Morning broke and Radha awoke with the sound a sakhi's voice calling her name. She did not respond as the fresh onset of tears had choked her voice. The sakhi found her sitting in a heap of dried leaves and flowers, her tear stained face also stained with dust from the ground. Sakhi took Radha's miserable face in her hands and tried to wipe her tears but Radha pushed her away. Sakhi tried to explain to her that she was waiting in vain. She should go back to her housework and leave her childish fantasies behind. Radha fell to ground and wept miserably. She refused to go with sakhi. She screamed over and over again that Krishna would come, he had promised.
Sakhi left...again Radha was alone. Breathing heavily with agitation, she began to make a new garland for Krishna. She kept muttering to herself, "Krishna will come, Krishna will come".
Her breaths became slower as dusk fell again. Radha sunk into a fitful sleep. She kept muttering, pleading for Krishna to show himself. Her voice grew louder as the night grew deeper. She awoke just before dawn broke. She screamed and ran from tree to tree, her voice ringing in every corner of the forest. "Where are you My Lord? Why don't you show yourself? Come to me or I shall kill myself". Tears came again and she tripped and fell on the banks of Jamuna.
The first rays of the sun showed her the beautiful blue colour she wanted to see. The koyal's sweet cooing sounded like the sweet music of Krishna's flute. Radha was surprised. She was delighted. She slowly called, "My Lord? My Krishna?". The koyal cooed in return. Her heart filled with joy as she smiled through her tears.
She dragged her tired body up and limped towards the Jamuna. The waves on the river appeared as Krishna's outstretched arms calling to her. Her beat fast, her tears dried up as she stretched her arms out. She stared for a moment at her apparent beloved and thought to herself, 'I'll never let you go, not even in death'. With a sudden surge of joy, she plunged she plunged headfirst into the cool blue water of the Jamuna, into the cool blue arms of her beloved, Krishna.
On the road to Mathura, Krishna ordered his charioteer to stop the chariot. He pelted down from the chariot, looked up at the heavens and screamed out in pain.
